WARNING: This blog post
may turn out to be quite lengthy. I have
had an overwhelmingly wonderful revelation – and I feel the need to try to put
it into words – particularly because this revelation has come from all of
you. At points, this post may delve into
the deep emotional caverns of my mind and heart. You have been warned. Continue reading at your own risk.
Coming
to Yap, over 9,000 miles away from home, I knew I was going to be challenged, I
knew I was going to be changed, I knew I would cherish this experience. I knew I would learn lessons that I could not
learn anywhere else, lessons that I will never fully master the eloquentia perfecta needed to put them
into words to share with others. The
most important lesson I have ever learned, I have ever felt, I have ever been
able to fully embrace, came this weekend in a whirlwind of tears, smiles, laughter,
conversations, hugs, drinks, friends, and family. My wonderful mother told me that recently
Hurricane Michael rampaged through the Atlantic Ocean – it seems my brother
storm sent some powerful winds of emotion and revelation my way.
I had a phenomenal week – in and out of school. On Sunday night the TPK (again still looking
for suggestions on our formal program name – Pat Vaccaro, you are always good
at fun names… I’m looking to you on this one J) invited our four Jesuit padres over for dinner –
it is so much fun to just sit back and relax and have fun with them – we all
are becoming quite the tight family. The
Regional Superior of Micronesia, Fr. John H., floored all of us with his
stories of when he survived a plane crash in the middle of the ocean because
the pilot was actually a maintenance man because the pilot couldn’t make it,
and then continued on to tell the story of how he was lost at sea for about a
week because the captain of the ship admitted he was not very good at
navigating. That man never ceases to
amaze me. We had a faculty retreat day
on Monday morning, which was such a warm reminder of why we are here and it was
great to be able to share with my fellow teachers. I adored leading morning reflections. I felt ecstatic about the lessons I was
teaching. The juniors blew me away with
their enthusiasm and determination during our second lab day. My freshmen homeroom has begun to genuinely
trust me and they have started to ask me the most complex, most impossible to
answer questions about the nature of God and their personal relationships with
Him – they are truly questioning their faith for the first time, and it is not
only strengthening their connection with God, but it is improving their
critical thinking skills as well. I
attended “Wine Night” at the Waterfront Inn overlooking the water and was able
to meet a fascinating vegan couple from California on a World Tattoo Tour, and
I was able to for the first time fully articulate to a lovely USDA vistor named
Sheryl how my work with the students and families of YCHS is going to slowly
improve the development of Yap. I was
inspired to find a way to fulfill my dreams – to change the world – to make
this world a better place.
Friday night ended up being an absolute blast. The Taro Patch Kids decided it had been a
long week and we deserved a night of care free fun. We met up with a bunch of our ex-pat friends
at the MNUW restaurant and enjoyed a night of singing, dancing, and drinking
with our new Navy Seabee friends who are here working on various construction
projects. Our travels took us to the
dive bar “O’Keefe’s and then up to the Yap Pacific Dive Resort. Many of our local friends joined us as well
and it was a fantastic reminder that no matter how serious things may get, and
no matter how busy we may think we are – you always need to remember to just
let go and have fun from time to time.
You need to laugh. You need to
dance your heart out. You need to sing “Don’t
Let Go” at the top of your lungs while making up a swing dance with Rosemary
Burke and then flailing your arms wildly to the synthetic beat of the music.
On Saturday – I was able to take a good chunk of time to
just reflect upon my experience on Yap so far.
I cried, I mean really cried, for the first time earlier this week
because I missed being close to the ones I love. I miss being able to hold my girlfriend in my
arms, I miss having sleepovers and deep late night pillow talk with my best
friends, I miss taking quote walks through Scranton late at night, I miss being
able to see the smiles and hear the laughter of the people who have made my
life so special.
When I finally reflected on why I was being hit so
powerfully with these emotions of sadness – I realized that the fact that I am
literally missing people to the point of tears is a testament to how much they
truly mean to me. I have been so blessed
to have been able to meet so many incredible people in my short life. I have been so blessed to have formed such
powerful relationships. I have been so
blessed to be able to have so many different groups of people that I care so
deeply for. I am blessed to be crying
because I miss you all so much.
By the time Saturday morning rolled around – my mind
raced every which way trying to comprehend, to understand, to decipher the
mystery that is love. It had occupied my
thoughts so much that I taught an entire Freshman religion class with “GOD IS
LOVE” written in huge red letters on the board – I opened the class by singing
the chorus of “I Want to Know What Love Is.”
I could not get over how much I purely missed everyone back home, and
how much I genuinely cared for them.
Then I realized that here on the island of Yap, I was developing this
feeling for the people of the island as well.
My fellow volunteers, the Jesuit priests, my neighbors, the other
ex-pats, my Yapese friends, my students…. Everyone.
During these reflections on love – I realized that Yap
has allowed me to see what is truly important – what really matters in this
life. Without the pressures of money, or
job interviews or promotions, or rent, or politics - without electronics, or
instant gratification, or distractions – without the comforts of our modern
world – I am discovering what matters… what truly, genuinely, completely
matters – what we need to live… and I mean purely, fully LIVE.
We
need people. We need family. We need friendship. We need relationships. We need eachother. We need to be able to cry. We need to be able to laugh. We need to care for one another – truly,
genuinely care. We need to remember that
there is good in each and every person.
We need to remember that there is God in each and every person. We need something to believe in. We need someone to believe in. We need
someone to believe in us. We need
trust. We need hope. We need faith. At the end of the day – we need love.
The
revelation hit me like a tsunami roaring through the villages of Yap. The flood gates opened. The tears came again – but this time they
were more powerful – they were more human – they were tears of love. An overwhelming sense of support, care,
compassion, trust, hope, faith, agape – unceasing love- swept over me. I felt love to the very core of my
being. I could feel it – really feel it –
from my tiny island of Stone Money in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I felt it coming from 9,000 miles away.
The
amount of support and genuine care from my friends, from my family has
presented itself in so many forms. I
finally recognized just how meaningful all of these acts of love were – no matter
how insignificant and trivial they may seem.
Firstly, I could not have even afforded to be here without the support
of my family. And on top of that – so many
incredible people helped to fund my year of service, my adventure – I could not
be here without you – thank-you endlessly for the financial support, but more
importantly for the love, care, and belief.
I have received numerous packages from my family – and not just my mom
and dad – from my aunts, uncles, and cousins – from my brothers and sisters –
and so many more people have asked what they can do to help – and not just help
me, but to help Yap – to help the students.
The mothers of highschool friends, of scouting friends, of Camp Minsi
staffers (Mrs. Lariar – your message brought me to tears) have sent me messages
asking what they can send – asking how they can share their love. Cards and postcards have filled my PO Box and
never fail to brighten my day. My
wonderful friends who are scattered across the globe doing unbelievable, incredible
things to make this world a better place have written me the most heart-felt
letters – an art form that sadly has nearly gone extinct in our modern
world. Teachers from high school are
going above and beyond to get support for YCHS (Mrs. Stephanie Hartline – Your
friendship, guidance, advice, gifts, and your being a “Result of God’s
Friendship” in my life means more than you will ever know. Miss Georjean Jones – I would be absolutely
lost without the Chemistry materials you supplied. Mr. Barry Parney – after all these years, you
are still challenging me and have your razorsharp wit – your short message
means more than you could imagine). My
girlfriend has been more supportive than I could have ever dreamed. Somehow despite being halfway across the
globe, with minimal communication – she is still making me fall more and more
in love with her. The e-mails, letters,
and comments from my Scranton family have been rays of sunshine in an already
brilliantly bright island. And not just
from my peers – from my mentors, my role models, the cafeteria workers, my
maintenance girls (Bertha – I couldn’t stop telling people how ecstatic I was
that you found me on facebook – and the short e-mails we share to catch
eachother up on our lives make my day).
The Jesuits back in Scranton still continue to be a huge part of my life
(Fr. Roach and Fr. Ron – you inspire me.. you challenge me.. you make me a
better person). The messages on facebook
– the wall posts – the comments – the likes…. They have so much meaning now
(Ellen, check out this personal shout out! – You have no idea how pumped I get
everytime I see you have posted something on my wall) Certain people who I was believing I would
probably never see, never talk to until a reunion of some sort – and even then
only if the stars were crossed – have been sending their support. On Saturday morning, I was able to talk to so
many people on facebook chat as I was waking up and they were preparing for bed
– they motivated me, they inspired me, and again they offered whatever help
they could give (Cathy – I am truly blessed to have you and your family in my
life – you are a remarkable role model).
My relationships seem to be getting stronger – more genuine – more real. I am realizing how much so many people have
given to me - how much love is coming my way.
I am loved – and there is no greater emotion, no greater feeling, no
greater power than the power of knowing, of feeling, of experiencing love.
I
am going to end this loquacious post with a short story that occurred in the
midst of the emotional Hurricane Michael going on inside my head and
heart. On Saturday afternoon – while I
was in the whirlwind of my revelation of love – Rose and I were relaxing in the
kitchen/dining room/ living room/ den (it’s just all one space) listening to
and singing some songs from the “Perfect Pandora” playlist. We heard at the door our heavenly neighbor,
Mary, calling softly “Michael…. Michael…” as I belted out some Billy Joel
ballad. I went to the screen door to see
her holding her great granddaughter, Summer- and she had her other hand behind
her back. When I opened the door, she
revealed that in her hidden hand was a new, freshly woven basket which she
slowly handed to me with an unforgettable smile. Now… in Yapese culture… everyone has a
basket. There are many style of baskets,
and depending on your age, village, gender, and social status – the baskets differ. The basket is a very traditional part of Yap’s
culture that I am confident will never die.
It is a symbol of peace, a sign of trust. When an ex-pat carries a basket –the Yapese
people take it as a sign that the island has accepted that person, and even
more so that the person has embraced the island’s culture, the Yapese people,
the way of life.
I
knew these baskets were not easy to make, so I asked Mary to please let me pay
her to give the money to the person who took the time and energy to weave my
basket. She shook her head no and said
in a soft voice and slightly broken English, “Family takes care of
each other. You are family.”
That
is what it all comes down to. We are all
family. Our blood relatives, our
friends, our co-workers, our acquaintances, our enemies. We are all family. On Yap – no one goes hungry – the people of
the island take care of eachother.
Family means everything. “Family
takes care of eachother.” No one suffers
alone. No one celebrates alone. They share everything – their food, their
money, their homes, their successes, their failures, their emotions – it is all
shared. It is all family.
 |
| My basket |
 |
| Modeling with my basket It's practical and fashionable |
"Family takes care of each other. You are family."
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